Do you Mil-Speak?

This short quiz is designed to test the general knowledge of the average person exposed to books and movies featuring military subjects. All of the terms are used in popular fiction. There are no questions intended to trick or stump, and nobody can fail this quiz.

The Mil-Speak quiz consists of thirty-three questions with multiple choice answers. This format was deemed to be both the fairest and most expedient. The test was designed to take approximately ten to twelve minutes to complete, which brevity would be attractive to invited participants. Asking for definitions or completions ("fill in the blank") would've alienated many testees. The "multiple guess" format was also condusive to double-checking a testee's depth of knowledge. The questions covered all branches of the military, so anyone with actual military service would not necessarily be more successful than an avid videophile or bibliophile. The "all of the above" and "none of the above" selections had to be included on every item to prevent the obvious answer when included on only the appropriate queries.

Q#01: A fugleman is?
_ ... (model soldier, paradigm, archetype)
1. boomer
   X ... (skilled person on fast-track; related to USN submarine / USAF jet)
2. dead-soldier
   _ ... (empty booze bottle)
3. leg
   _ ... (non-paratrooper or basic grunt; not an over-achiever)
4. boot
   _ ... (trainee)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The first question: A fugleman is? required knowledge of the formal word for a model soldier, paradigm, or archetype in order to match the slang term. It has been said that military personnel are the most contradictory group of persons ever assembled; since they have great knowledge of math and science, know several foreign languages, are ethical and healthy, but swear heavily and fluently, and employ their remarkable skills in destructive and devastating ways. The average military person will comfortably mix five-cent and five-dollar words in the same sentence, and other military personnel will understand all of it! The correct answer is boomer, referring to any skilled person on a fast-track; but also related to USN nuclear submarine and USAF jet airplane. A dead-soldier is an empty booze bottle. A leg is a non-paratrooper or basic grunt; someone who is not an over-achiever. A boot is a trainee, or someone unskilled.

Q#02: An incompetent or shirker is?
1. feather merchant
   _ ... (trying to sell the idea that a bag of feathers is heavier than a bag of rocks)
2. goldbrick
   _ ... (an inert burden to others, as if valuable)
3. yardbird
   _ ... (trooper who is marginally functional or a petty criminal, or both)
4. tap-dancer
   _ ... (watch the fancy footwork, so you won't see what is or is not being done with the hands)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question two: An incompetent or shirker is? is all of the above. A feather merchant is someone selling the idea that a bag of feathers is heavier than a bag of rocks. A goldbrick is someone who's an inert burden to others, as if extremely valuable. A yardbird is a trooper who is marginally functional, or a petty criminal, or both. A tap-dancer is someone who thinks their fancy footwork distracts from what the hands are or are not doing.

Q#03: An eager and enthusiastic workaholic is?
_ ... (dedicated or compulsive worker)
1. boy wonder
   _ ... (talent promoted beyond experience)
2. hot dog
   _ ... (talented show-off who lacks good judgement)
3. sweat hog
   X ... (someone who loves to work)
4. cowboy
   _ ... (talented show-off who is too independent to cooperate)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question three asks: An eager and enthusiastic workaholic is?, which requires a substitution for a dedicated or compulsive worker. The correct answer is sweat hog, which is someone who loves to work. A boy wonder is a talented person promoted beyond their experience. A hot dog is a talented show-off who lacks good judgement. A cowboy is a talented show-off who is too independent to cooperate. During the Vietnam War, an indigenous caoboy was a hybrid compounded from Vietnamese cao for "bad" and English boy for "immature" (not a man); a "bad boy".

Q#04: Which of the following does not mean messed-up or confused?
1. S N A F U
   _ ... (Situation Normal - All Fucked Up)
2. F O U O
   X ... (For Official Use Only)
3. F U B A R
   _ ... (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition)
4. T A R F U
   _ ... (Things Are Really Fucked Up)
5. F U B B
   _ ... (Fucked Up Beyond Belief)
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The fourth question asks: Which of the following does not mean messed-up or confused?, and the correct answer is F O U O, which abbreviates For Official Use Only. S N A F U means Situation Normal - All Fucked Up. F U B A R means Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. T A R F U means Things Are Really Fucked Up. F U B B means Fucked Up Beyond Belief.

Q#05: Altering a message or its signal to prevent interception is?
1. K A K
   _ ... (encryption / decryption by device)
2. shackle
   _ ... (encoding / decoding by pattern)
3. alphabet soup
   _ ... (nonsense resulting from code jumble)
4. scramble
   _ ... (changing frequencies and speed of traffic)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question 5: Altering a message or its signal to prevent interception is? is all of the above. To K A K is encryption / decryption by mechanical device. To shackle is encoding / decoding by pattern. Alphabet soup is the nonsense resulting from code jumble. To scramble is changing frequencies and speed of traffic, including burst (condensed) transmissions.

Q#06: A person operating a howitzer is?
_ ... (short-barreled portable cannon or artillery)
1. F A G
   _ ... (slang for Field Artillery Guy)
2. redleg
   _ ... (artilleryman, from original color of trousers, then color of stripe)
3. cannon-cocker
   _ ... (slang for artilleryman)
4. bullet-head
   _ ... (slang for artilleryman)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

To answer question six: A person operating a howitzer is?, the testee must have basic knowledge about short-barreled portable cannon or artillery, so as to correctly answer all of the above. A F A G is a slang acronym for Field Artillery Guy. A redleg is an artilleryman, as derived from the original color of trousers, and later from the color of trouser stripe. A cannon-cocker is slang for an artilleryman. A bullet-head is slang for an artilleryman.

Q#07: A crunchy is?
1. infantryman
   X ... (also dogface, grunt, snuffy, ground-pounder, etc)
2. signalman
   _ ... (called "sparks")
3. tanker
   _ ... (sometimes "tanker-clanker")
4. burn casualty
   _ ... (called "crispy critter")
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question seven asks: A crunchy is?, and this could easily be confused with words of similar meaning. The correct answer is infantryman (literally "infant + man", due to the fact that young men are the only ones strong enough to accomplish the task) from the sound of marching feet. Infantrymen have many other appellations, including dogface, grunt, snuffy, ground-pounder, and others. A signalman is called "sparks". A tanker is sometimes called "tanker-clanker". A burn casualty is called a "crispy critter".

Q#08: A jarhead is?
1. Marine Corpsman
   _ ... (by extension from hat and stubborn/stupid)
2. Marine's utility cover
   _ ... (by extension from sailor's hat, as top or cap on jar)
3. sailor's hat
   _ ... (from resemblance of "Dixie Cup" cap to top or cover on jar)
4. mule
   _ ... (original meaning of stubborn or stupid as a mule)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question eight is: A jarhead is? a depth of knowledge item, with the correct answer being all of the above. The obvious answer is the person with whom the object is associated, but that object has changed over time, and so has the metonymic personage. A Marine or Marine Corpsman is as stubborn (determined) and as stupid (intrepid) as a mule, and also wears the distinctive USMC utility cover (hat). A Marine's utility cover is unique headgear, by extension and transference from a sailor's hat, and tops a Marine the way a lid caps a jar. A sailor's hat, by resemblance to a "Dixie Cup", is unique headgear, that tops a sailor the way a lid caps a jar. A recalcitrant mule, also called a "jughead", for its persistent obliquity, extends and transfers characteristics to relentless muleteers, drovers, and cavalrymen [because mules have more endurance than horses, cavalry units used them in the midwest and southwest throughout the Indian Wars, before and after the Civil War; another term, shavetail, is directly related to the management of military mules].

Q#09: Air Force gloves are?
_ ... (from the casual or informal manner of air crews; would never be "Marine gloves")
1. remote high-tech manipulators
   _ ... (as with hazardous materials)
2. enlarged luminous paddles for signaling
   _ ... (called wand or paddle)
3. high-performance protective hand-covering
   _ ... (aviator's gloves are fireproof)
4. hands in pockets of uniform
   X ... (other branches sew pockets closed for a better appearance)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question nine asks: Air Force gloves are?, and the correct answer is based upon military lifestyles. The Air Force is the most informal of the military branches, based upon their highly technical duties and extremely skilled personnel, none of whom will tolerate "mickey mouse" when comfortable civilian jobs await them. In order to retain these people and their skills, the Air Force is lavish with rank and privileges (eg: a $12-million tank is commanded by an Army sergeant but a $12-million airplane is commanded by an Air Force officer). Air Force insignia, commonly called "brass", is actually made of anodized aluminum and cannot be polished! The Air Force routinely runs three shifts of workers to give full service and 24-hour coverage. The Army and Navy only do this under special circumstances and in selected units. The correct answer is hands in pockets of uniform, because it would only happen in the Air Force. Other branches of the military actually sew their pockets closed for a better appearance. The other ansers are only plausible. Remote high-tech manipulators, as with hazardous materials, imply technical usage. Enlarged luminous paddles for signaling are actually called "wands" or "paddles". High-performance protective hand-covering do really exist; aviator's gloves are fireproof.

Q#10: A bird is?
1. airplane
   _ ...
2. missile
   _ ...
3. satellite
   _ ...
4. helicopter
   _ ...
5. all of the above
   X ... (anything that flies through the air)
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question ten: A bird is? is all of the above, based upon the metaphoric extension to anything that flies through the air. The airplane, missile, satellite, and helicopter are included; but falling objects, like mortar rounds and airdropped bombs are excluded.

Q#11: An aviator is?
_ ... ("pilot" can be navigator, steersman, or chaplain)
1. F U F
   _ ... (slang for Fella Up Front; not copilot, navigator, or weapons officer)
2. airdale
   _ ... (slang for USN aviator)
3. rotorhead
   _ ... (slang for helicopter pilot)
4. fighter jock
   _ ... (slang for jet pilot)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question eleven: An aviator is? is all of the above. A "pilot" can be a navigator, steersman, or chaplain ("sky pilot"). A F U F is slang for Fella Up Front; someone who is not the copilot, navigator, or weapons officer. An airdale is slang for a USN aviator. A rotorhead is slang for a helicopter pilot. A fighter jock is slang for a jet pilot.

Q#12: When the enemy is sighted, a pilot calls?
1. tally-ho
   _ ... (authorization to chase and attack a confirmed target)
2. bogie
   _ ... (designates any unidentified potential target; must confirm friend or foe)
3. ahoy
   _ ... (hail to ship)
4. bandit
   X ... (designates a confirmed enemy target)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question twelve: When the enemy is sighted, a pilot calls? is a depth of knowledge item. The correct answer is bandit, based upon identification of a confirmed enemy target. A tally-ho is authorization to pursue and attack a confirmed target; as such, would be subsequent to the bandit call. In Naval aviation, if the target is confirmed, the call skips the preliminary bandit, and issues a tally-ho immediately. A bogie is any unidentified potential target; all unknown objects must be confirmed as friend or foe. Ahoy is the universal hail to ships.

Q#13: Bragging rights for a job well done is?
_ ... (the right to proclaim based on achievement)
1. bayonet sheet
   _ ... (negative evaluation)
2. bravo sierra
   _ ... (phonetic for B S or bullshit [well done = bravo zulu])
3. Maggie's drawers
   _ ... (zero, total miss, complete failure)
4. blowing smoke
   _ ... (obscuring or concealing the truth [bad news])
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   X ...

The correct answer to question thirteen: Bragging rights for a job well done is?, based upon proclamations derived from achievement, is none of the above. A bayonet sheet is a negative evaluation. Bravo sierra is phonetic for B S or bullshit. Maggie's drawers are a zero rating, total miss, or complete failure; with the sexual connotation of "no score" by missing "the target". Blowing smoke is obscuring the truth or concealing "bad news".

Q#14: The awards and decorations worn on a uniform are?
_ ... (as rewarded, decorated; not ornamented)
1. trash
   _ ... (slang for qualification badge)
2. gong
   _ ... (slang for pendent medal)
3. fruit salad
   _ ... (slang for the colorful ribbon-bars representing pendent medals)
4. scrambled eggs
   _ ... (decorations commensurate with higher rank)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question fourteen: The awards and decorations worn on a uniform are?, based upon the distinction between decorated or rewarded for conduct rather than ornamented for appearance, is all of the above. Trash is slang for qualification badges; so called due to the requirement for obtaining them in order to serve in particular units, hence meaningless as a prerequisite, and totally inappropriate for any other unit where the skills are not utilized. Gong is slang for any pendent medal, attributed to the clamorous sound they make when hanging and banging on everybody's chest. Fruit salad is slang for the colorful ribbon-bars representing pendent medals, most of which are awarded for just showing-up at the right place at the right time. Scrambled eggs are decorations commensurate with higher rank, since elevated status always needs fancy styling. All of these terms deride the distinctions, but no one doubts the need for respect. This is the same reverse psychology that promulgates "gallows humor". To counterbalance the military tendency to adorn themselves in a mode that would shame a peacock, a Murphy Law of Combat proclaims: "The side with the simplest uniform always wins the war!"

Q#15: Three sequential victories are?
1. triplet
   _ ... (any set of three; not military)
2. daisy-chain
   _ ... (slang for sequence of explosives)
3. hat trick
   X ... (originally sports metaphor, adopted by aviators)
4. triple bogy
   _ ... (sports metaphor; not military)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question fifteen asks: Three sequential victories are? The correct answer is hat trick, which was originally a sports metaphor that was adopted by aviators during allied operations in World war Two. A triplet is any set of three; which is not a military term. A daisy-chain is slang for a sequence or series of explosives; and, together with hat trick, has sexual connotations. A triple bogy is a sports metaphor; which is not a military term.

Q#16: A garden of stones is?
_ ... (from the manicured setting for gravestones)
1. munitions dump
   _ ... (called dump or depot)
2. cemetery
   X ... (because war only leaves memorials [cf: origin of trophy])
3. arrangement of bunkers and fortifications
   _ ... (called Military Line of Resistance / MLR)
4. storage depot for contaminants and toxins
   _ ... (called "field of tombs")
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question sixteen asks: A garden of stones is?, which refers to the manicured setting for gravestones. Questions 16 and 17 offer the same answers, so they are testing depth of knowledge. The correct answer is cemetery, because war only leaves memorials as mute testimony[cf: origin of trophy]. A munitions dump is called dump or depot. An arrangement of bunkers and fortifications is called the Military Line of Resistance [MLR]. A storage depot for contaminants and toxins is called a "field of tombs".

Q#17: A field of tombs is?
_ ... (from their resemblance to mausoleums arranged in a field)
1. munitions dump
   _ ... (called dump or depot)
2. cemetery
   _ ... (called "garden of stones")
3. arrangement of bunkers
   _ ... (called Military Line of Resistance / MLR)
4. storage depot for contaminants and toxins
   X ... (because, if ever leaked or released, everybody's dead)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question seventeen asks: A field of tombs is?, which refers to their resemblance to mausoleums arranged in a field. Questions 16 and 17 offer the same answers, so they are testing depth of knowledge. The correct answer is storage depot for contaminants and toxins, because if it is ever released, everybody's dead; thus proving that nobody ever wins from war. A munitions dump is called dump or depot. A cemetery is called a "garden of stones", from the manicured setting for gravestones. An arrangement of bunkers and fortifications is called the Military Line of Resistance [MLR].

Q#18: A retreat or retrograde movement is?
1. hotel alfa
   _ ... (phonetic for Haul Ass; withdraw)
2. beat-feet
   _ ... (slang for withdraw)
3. changing tune
   _ ... (refers to switch in bugle-call from "charge" to "retreat")
4. bug-out
   _ ... (slang for withdraw)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question eighteen: A retreat or retrograde movement is? is all of the above. Hotel alfa is phonetic for the "HA" in Haul Ass; meaning to withdraw. Beat-feet is slang for withdraw. Changing tune refers to the switch in bugle-calls from "charge" to "retreat". Bug-out is slang for withdraw.

Q#19: Someone who has crossed the equator on-board ship is?
1. dolphin
   _ ... (slang for submariner)
2. shellback
   X ... (slang for veteran sailor; sea creature)
3. pollywog
   _ ... (slang for novice sailor who must undergo a "sea change"; amphibian)
4. mossback
   _ ... (slang for wise veteran sailor, "old salt"; old fish or turtle)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question nineteen asks: Someone who has crossed the equator on-board ship is?. The correct answer is shellback, which, as a sea creature, is slang for a veteran sailor. In testing depth of knowledge, a mossback, which is an old fish or turtle, is reserved for wise "old salt" sailors who have great experience. Another depth of knowledge answer is a pollywog, which, as an amphibian, actually refers to novice sailors about to undergo a "sea change" to shellback when crossing the equator. A dolphin is slang for a submariner.

Q#20: The butcher's bill is?
1. commissary expense
   _ ... (food issued; not billed)
2. casualty report
   X ... (from the carnage of battle)
3. messhall account
   _ ... (no bills or accounts maintained)
4. quartermaster receipt
   _ ... (clothing issued; not billed)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question twenty asks: The butcher's bill is? The correct answer is casualty report, from the carnage of battle. Commissary expense is incorrect because food is issued, not billed. Messhall account is incorrect because no bills or accounts are maintained. Quartermaster receipt is incorrect because clothing is issued, not billed.

Q#21: A chop shop is?
_ ... (rhyming slang)
1. galley / messhall
   _ ... (implies ruined or destroyed food)
2. motor-pool
   _ ... (implies customization work on vehicles)
3. surgery
   X ... (by appearance and analogy to a butcher's shop)
4. personnel / admin
   _ ... (implies mishandling of records and reports)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question twenty-one asks: A chop shop is? The correct answer for this rhyming slang is surgery, by analogy and resemblance to a butcher's shop. The galley / messhall answer implies ruined or destroyed food. The motor-pool answer implies customization work on vehicles. The personnel / admin answer implies mishandling of records and reports.

Q#22: A dogsbody is?
1. aide
   _ ... (military assistant or gofer)
2. cadet
   _ ... (officer trainee)
3. factotum
   _ ... (military assistant or gofer)
4. surrogate
   _ ... (military deputy or substitute)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question twenty-two: A dogsbody is? is all of the above. An aide is a military assistant or gofer. A cadet is an officer trainee. A factotum is a military assistant or gofer. A surrogate is a military deputy or substitute.

Q#23: A blanket party is?
_ ... (slang for corporal punishment of individual for infractions affecting group)
1. fragging
   _ ... (slang for killing the leader; opposite of "blanket party")
2. drumhead
   X ... (summary justice, expedient remedy; punishment imposed without trial)
3. bivouac
   _ ... (military encampment; implies "picnic")
4. F T X
   _ ... (abbreviation for Field Training eXercise; implies "picnic")
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The depth of knowledge necessary to interpret question twenty-three: A blanket party is? anticipates a comprehension of corporal punishment of an individual for infractions that affect the entire group. The correct answer is drumhead, which is summary justice; it's an expedient remedy or punishment imposed without trial. A fragging, which is slang for killing the unit leader, is the opposite of a blanket party [nb: a blanket party increases conformity and cohesion, but a fragging increases irresponsibility and insubordination]. Both bivouac, which is a military encampment, and F T X, which is the abbreviation for Field Training eXercise, imply a civilian-style "picnic".

Q#24: Rocks 'n' Shoals is?
_ ... (slang for "go cautiously", from shallows and hazards)
1. U C M J
   X ... (abbreviation for Uniform Code of Military Justice)
2. Captain's Mast
   _ ... (the hearing where sailors receive non-judicial punishment)
3. keelhaul
   _ ... (euphemism for "deep trouble", from former punishment)
4. J A G
   _ ... (abbreviation for Judge Advocate General; a military lawyer)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question twenty-four asks: Rocks 'n' Shoals is?, which slang anticipates an extension from shallows and hazards to "go cautiously". The correct answer is U C M J, being the abbreviation for Uniform Code of Military Justice, which is the codex of military laws. A Captain's Mast is the hearing where sailors receive non-judicial punishment; that is, where Rocks 'n' Shoals are applied. Keelhaul, based upon an old form of deadly punishment, is a euphemism for "deep trouble". J A G, being the abbreviation for Judge Advocate General, is a military counsel or lawyer who functions as a "guide" or "pilot" through the Rocks 'n' Shoals.

Q#25: An easy or low-risk mission is?
1. cakewalk
   _ ... (routine mission, uneventful accomplishment; "no sweat")
2. duck soup
   _ ... (routine mission, uneventful accomplishment; "no sweat")
3. laugh a minute
   _ ... (routine mission, uneventful accomplishment, especially small boat operations)
4. walk in the park
   _ ... (routine mission, uneventful accomplishment, especially air operations)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question twenty-five: An easy or low-risk mission is? is all of the above. A cakewalk is a routine mission or uneventful accomplishment; meaning "no sweat". Duck soup is a routine mission or uneventful accomplishment; meaning "no sweat". A laugh a minute is a routine mission or uneventful accomplishment, especially on small boat operations. A walk in the park is a routine mission or uneventful accomplishment, especially on air operations.

Q#26: A paid vacation, including transportation, is?
1. leave
   _ ... (accountable to accrued earnings, but at personal expense)
2. pass / liberty
   _ ... (not accountable, but at personal expense)
3. A W O L
   _ ... (abbreviation for Absent WithOut Leave; a crime)
4. R & R
   X ... ("Rest and Recreation" or "Rest and Recuperation" with all expenses paid)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The crucial part of question twenty-six: A paid vacation, including transportation, is? is the depth of knowledge regarding who pays for what. Not only does the military grant thirty-days of paid vacation each year (which can only be accumulated to a maximum of three years before loss), but emergency or convalescent leave, and travel to new or temporary assignments is also warranted. Further, satisfactory and superior performance is rewarded by a 4 - 72 hour pass or liberty at the individual's own expense. During extreme conditions, such as wartime, dedicated service and outstanding performance is rewarded by Rest and Recuperation (R&R), which is entirely paid by the military. In exchange for all of these wonderful benefits, the military requires that people be available to work 24-hours a day and obey all lawful orders without exception or excuse ... in other words, the military works hard and it also plays hard! The correct answer is R & R, which has variously meant "Rest and Refitment" (American Civil War), "Rest and Recuperation" (WW2 - VN War), and "Rest and Recreation" ... an abbreviation which has been adopted by many civilians. Leave, whether accrued or unaccounted, is only restricted by time, but paid by the individual. Pass or Liberty is restricted by both time and distance, and is paid by the individual. A W O L, the abbreviation for Absent WithOut Leave [meaning "permission", and distinguished from an Unauthorized Absence (UA)], is illegal, and is performed entirely at the individual's risk and expense.

Q#27: The housewife is?
1. charge of quarters
   _ ... (temporary duty, abbreviated CQ)
2. locker for cleaning supplies
   _ ... (closet, bin, or stowage)
3. sewing kit
   X ... (due to lack of spouse or seamstress to do needed sewing)
4. chief cook
   _ ... (called mess sergeant, steward, or "cookie")
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question twenty-seven asks: The housewife is? The correct answer is a sewing kit, which is so called due to the lack of a spouse or seamstress to do needed sewing. The other possible answers play on the domestic potential of this phrase. The charge of quarters (CQ) is a temporary duty assignment for lower ranking sergeants. The locker for cleaning supplies is simply a closet, bin, or stowage. The chief cook, who would never tolerate the slur implicit in such an appellation, is properly called a mess sergeant, steward, or "cookie".

Q#28: A blooper is?
1. mistake
   _ ... (botch; not military)
2. chronic mistake-maker
   _ ... (bumbler; not military)
3. mortar
   _ ... (compact, portable, indirect-fire weapons; also called "mortie" or "piss tube")
4. grenade launcher
   X ... (from the sound made during launch; also called "thumper")
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question twenty-eight asks: A blooper is? The correct answer is a grenade launcher, from the sound made during firing, being either an M-79 or M-203, which is also called a "thumper" or "thump-gun". By association, a mortar, which is sometimes called "mortie" or "piss tube", are compact and portable indirect-fire weapons. Both of the other answers (ie: mistake for botch, and chronic mistake-maker for bumbler) are non-military, and are suitable only to civilian experience ... the military has a plethora of epithets for people who cannot do things right.

Q#29: The command headquarters is?
1. fudge factory
   _ ... (from fudging numbers and reports)
2. mad house
   _ ... (from the disorder during operations)
3. puzzle palace
   _ ... (from the elaborate and unworkable plans generated)
4. fort fumble
   _ ... (from an inability to "carry-on" when field troops hand-over a prize)
5. all of the above
   X ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

The correct answer to question twenty-nine: The command headquarters is? is all of the above. A fudge factory is so called from fudging numbers and reports. A mad house is so called from the disorder during operations. A puzzle palace is so called from the elaborate and unworkable plans generated. Fort fumble is so called from an inability to "carry-on" when field troops hand-over a prize.

Q#30: A rack is?
1. bomb load
   _ ... (where munitions are hung or mounted; not the payload [called "stick"])
2. torturous situation
   _ ... (from an ancient torture device; not military)
3. tiered bed
   X ... (stacked bunks, as on troop transports; go to bed = "hit the rack")
4. tray / shelf
   _ ... (origin for tier of beds; not military)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question thirty asks: A rack is? The correct answer is a tiered bed or stacked bunks, as in billets and on troop transports; therefore, "go to bed" is expressed as "hit the rack". A tray / shelf is probably the origin for a tier of beds, but the imitation is not specifically military. A bomb load is the munition "package" or payload, which does not include the housing where the munitions are hung or mounted. A torturous situation is related to an ancient torture device; therefore not a valid military usage.

Q#31: Being sheep-dipped is?
_ ... (from changing the outward appearance)
1. detached to other government agency
   X ... (to expand experience, develop skill, extend liaison)
2. deactivation / demobilization
   _ ... (discharge, force reduction, retirement)
3. temporary duty
   _ ... (other military assignment; no subterfuge)
4. permanent reassignment
   _ ... (other military assignment; no subterfuge)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question thirty-one asks: Being sheep-dipped is?, which is based upon the outward change of appearance when a wolf is dressed in sheep's clothing. The correct answer is detached to other government agency, so as to expand experience, develop skill, and extend liaison. Deactivation / demobilization, such as discharge, force reduction, or retirement, does not involve subterfuge. Temporary duty, such as some other military assignment, does not involve subterfuge. Permanent reassignment, such as some other military assignment, does not involve subterfuge.

Q#32: Which of the following is bulletproof?
1. steel helmet
   _ ... (deflects shrapnel)
2. cover
   _ ... (protective position; not immune)
3. concealment
   _ ... (not visible, but can still be hit)
4. flak vest
   _ ... (deflects shrapnel)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   X ... (anything truly "bulletproof" limits military options)

The correct answer to question thirty-two: Which of the following is bulletproof? is none of the above. Of all these questions, the answer to this one flouts doctrine and conventional wisdom with the reality of combat: there is no safe place on the battlefield! The official definition of cover is anything that obstructs direct fire; but that assumes a static situation, no maneuver, and only one form of assault, which are rare events in the real world of warfare. In fact, one of the Murphy Laws of Combat says that "If your attack or defense is going really well, then you're missing something!" Concealment means "not visible", which is why the military invented the wasteful doctrine of "recon by fire", because targets that can't be seen can still be hit. The steel helmet has always been a compromise that can cause as many problems as it prevents ... grunts know to unbuckle their chin-straps or concussion may break their necks! The old-style "steel pot" was at least multipurpose, since troops could wash in them, dig with them, sit on them, and hide under them; but the new-style high-tech "K-domes" are too fragile for any of those things. The flak vest or flak jacket was never designed to stop bullets (ie: flak means shrapnel); and the version that incorporated ceramic plates, called a "chicken plate", for helicopter crewmembers were too bulky and heavy to be used in the field by regular troops.

Q#33: The correct way to sign-off or disconnect is?
1. over and out
   _ ... (egregious error; "over" = your turn to talk, "out" = I'm finished talking)
2. out
   X ... (short for "[I'm] out of the net"; protocol extends privilege of discontinuing to superior)
3. carry-on
   _ ... (command for you to continue, resume, or execute)
4. dismissed
   _ ... (command for you to depart or break formation)
5. all of the above
   _ ...
6. none of the above
   _ ...

Question thirty-three asks: The correct way to sign-off or disconnect is? The correct answer is simply out, which is short for "[I'm] OUT of the net". Military protocol extends the privilege of discontinuing to the superior, but the urgency of a situation takes precedence [eg: a lieutenant is legally entitled to direct a colonel to vacate a platoon net, but if the colonel is stupid enough to intrude during a crisis, then he's probably vindictive enough to follow-up later]. Made popular by numerous films and books, over and out is an egregious error; "over" means your turn to talk (continue), and "out" means I'm finished talking (discontinue) ... it can be one or the other, but not both. Carry-on is the command for you to continue, resume, or execute. Dismissed is the command for you to depart or break formation. The issue with both carry-on and dismissed is who's talking ... one cannot give one's self an order, so someone else must command continuation or dismissal; similar to the "thank you" and "you're welcome" dichotomy. Since over is not conclusive, and over and out is mutually contradictory, the only acceptable sign-off is out.

The foregoing quiz was sample tested across a wide demographic spectrum in satisfaction of a graduate language theory course, and a statistical analysis generated the following conclusions.

The results of this survey were dismal (in the sense of forbiddingly inept); but even wretched results are valid, and can offer worthwhile conclusions. Some military branch (US Army, US Navy, US Air Force, US Marine Corps, etc) specific questions attempted to ascertain a greater public awareness of one or another service, with eclectic results. Of the total number of possible answers, only 19% were right. The most frequent correct answer was R&R, while the most frequently wrong answers were over-and-out and jarhead.