For $65 a Month

As tried and true soldiers,
we are proud to faithfully serve our country,
its wise leaders and caring citizens,
by going anywhere we are sent
to destroy things and kill people,
and do every other dangerous or thankless task,
for only $65 a month!
... God bless our great nation!
... without whose generous indulgence
we would have to count each interval
of our miserable drudgery and quiet desperation,
instead of enjoying the excitement and fulfillment
of the martial lifestyle.
Who needs money when there's real work to do?!
Why have a career when you can have a profession?!
A job is just an excuse to leave home, get dirty, and act crazy.
Seriously ... we ought to pay for the privilege.