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At the Creation

          And from the Eternal Void, the Lord spake forth unto the firmament, and said "Let there be Airborne". The earth then did tremble and quake, and the waters did rise up, and the clouds did part, and there came forth a multitude of perfect parachutes that filled the sky. Each paratrooper was overloaded with gear and weapons, and was wearing Corcoran jump boots, baggy pants, and an Airborne tab. God looked down upon what He'd wrought and saw that it was good ... and that they were good All The Way!. They were Airborne!

          The Lord then spake forth unto the primeval earth, and said "Let there be Rangers". And all at once, the day turned to darkness and the winds did howl, mountains crumbled into the sea and the great rocks did part, and there suddenly sprang forth a horde of Mephistophelean Disciples carrying all sorts of deadly implements and wearing Ranger scrolls. God looked down upon what He'd wrought and saw it was Hoo-ah! ... and that they were Hoo-ah! Leading The Way. They were Rangers!

          The Lord then spake forth thrice unto all of His creation ... to the sky, the land, and the sea ... and said "Let there be Special Forces". Lightning did instantly flash and thunder echoed across the world, volcanoes spewed forth molten rock and rained fire upon the land. Tidal waves surged over the meek and innocent in the shallows and capsized the many oppressed in water over their heads. Despair and disorder, turmoil and tumult did prevail. Forthwith, there did appear an elite band of extraordinary brothers ... a few jumped from the sky, others came from beneath the waters, and some silently stalked from the forests and deserts, the jungles and snowfields, the marshes and plains, the metropolises and quagmires ... to do unconventional combat. Each of them was camouflaged, and wearing a Randall knife, a star-sapphire ring, a Rolex watch, and a Green Beret! By working together, these Quiet Professionals brought peace everywhere they went. God looked down upon what He'd wrought and saw it was awesome ... and that they were awesome Anytime, Anywhere, Anything, Anyway! They were Special Forces!

          Beside Himself with ecstasy, and in an expansive gesture of Divine Grace, the Lord again spake forth inviting "Let all ye lesser creatures possessed of weak bodies and simple minds, come forward to make your mark upon Destiny." And lo, from the primordial ooze and nether abyss, primitive life-forms crept and slithered upon the earth to slowly form indecisive groups, and gather into muddled masses. Their confusion was palpable, their diffidence was manifest, and their ineptitude was conspicuous. God looked down upon the agglomerated multitude, shook His noble head at the pathetic scene ... for they were pathetic Grunts. They were laggard LEGs! ... and God condemned these pathetic creatures to be ground-pounders forever!

          And from His proper place in Heaven, He smiled upon this pleasant creation, for everything needful had been done, and all was right with the world. He rested, knowing His children were well guarded.