Army Weather Corollaries to Murphy's Law
If enemy INTEL reporting was as erroneous as the mistaken weather
forecasts, then it would either be ignored, or treated as
Inclement weather always begins AFTER you've already done PT.
A sudden downpour always occurs at the end of a summer field
exercise ... just in time to coat all your equipment and
camouflage with mud.
If you must entrench, the hard dry ground will turn into slimy
mud shortly after the position is occupied.
The best beach weather always occurs when you are in the field
wearing MOPP 4 gear.
There is no such thing as a blue sky during a company picnic.
There is no such thing as a cloudy sky when your unit needs to
infiltrate enemy territory.
No matter which direction you travel during a full-equipment FTX,
the wind will always blow against your route of march.
Road conditions are always red when it's time to convoy home.
Motor pools are always 20-degrees warmer than the rest of the
post during the summer, and 50-degrees colder in the winter.
Army training areas exist in a constant state of weather flux
controlled by a deity with a truly cruel sense of humor (Why do
you think they were so cheap and available?!).
The peak of Mount Everest would flood if an Army unit was told to
set up on it.
Hell really would freeze over if someone decided to conduct a
training exercise there.
The Port-a-Potty Postulate states that the likelihood of a
hurricane, sandstorm, tsunami, or blizzard occurring immediately
coincident with your location is directly related to how urgently
you need to use the latrine at the other side of the encampment
during the middle of the night.
The temperature always rises to 70-degrees after you put
on two layers of polypros, your bear suit, and all of your
If you whine about the weather, someone else will always whine
A day without weather would be ... would be really
Nothing anyone does changes the weather ... but that's no reason
to stop trying!