What it Takes to Be an Officer
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SECOND-LIEUTENANT
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when commissioned, all your brains are sucked-out! ... so you
will not think any un-military thoughts.
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FIRST-LIEUTENANT
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when promoted, your feet are chopped-off! ... so you cannot go
where you have not been sent.
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CAPTAIN
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when promoted, your hands are chopped-off! ... so you can't fix
whatever is wrong with the military.
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MAJOR
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when promoted, your tongue is ripped-out! ... so you can't say
what's wrong with the military.
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LIEUTENANT-COLONEL
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when promoted, your heart is torn-out! ... so your only love will
be the military.
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COLONEL
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when promoted, your balls are chopped-off! ... so you won't have
the courage to fight the military system.
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GENERAL
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when promoted, your asshole is sewn-shut! ... so all you see and
hear is shit. Then you're given an Aide to carry-out your orders.
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