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Ballad of the Queen Berets

[tune of "Ballad of the Green Berets"]

    Falling fairies from the sky;
    I broke a nail, oh I could cry!
    Don't you like how my tush sways?
    We are the Fags of the Queen Berets!
    Bill Clinton's words upon our ears,
    "You guys have rights, be proud you're queers!"
    I once was scared, now I'm Okay,
    Cause I'm a fag in the Queen Berets.
    Put silver earclips on our nuts;
    We love the pain, now spank our butts!
    The way you walk is awfully cute;
    I sure would love to pack your chute!
    Back at home, a young wife waits,
    Her Queen Beret just won't go straight;
    For his team he stays undressed,
    Spreads his legs, and lies on his chest.
    This Army stuff is really slick;
    Free clothes, bunk beds, and lots of dicks.
    When we retire, we'll still get paid;
    We thank you, Bill, from the Queen Berets!

Ballad of the Pink Berets

[tune of "Ballad of the Green Berets"]

    Flaming fairies, we are so shy;
    I broke a nail, oh I could cry.
    The mean ole sergeant, he thinks we're pips;
    We bat our eyes, and swish our hips.
    We are so proud to be this way;
    We are the fairies of the Pink Beret.
    Bill Clinton's gays, we are the best;
    Much sweeter than all of the rest.
    He let us join this Army thing,
    Now we deserve a friendship ring.
    We are so silly, all in drag.
    Want to play a game of tag?
    I touch you there and everywhere;
    You touch me back, ooh I don't care.
    One hundred men we'll do today,
    By sweet little gays of the Pink Beret.
    These army suits, they are so neat.
    Think we look good enough to eat?
    Black Hats put earclips on our nuts;
    That feels so nice, now spank our butts!
    I giggle so when I watch you rise;
    Now let me show you my surprise.
    To serve our country is such a thrill;
    Dressed up in uniform, you know I will.
    No matter what the civilians say,
    We are Bill Clinton's Pink Berets.
    So into battle, we'll lead the band;
    But we'll never stray into no man's land.
    The enemy is such (tsk) an awful brute;
    Oh really, dearie, I think they're cute!
    Our foxhole combat won't bring a tear,
    Because our nylons are wash 'n' wear.
    And if he makes me lose this test,
    At least he'll know he's had the best!
    Let me endure it all, I fervently pray;
    So Bill will invite more to be Pink Berets!