Gee Ma, I Wanna Go Home
anonymous [a folk song of the Great War that was professionally
performed during World War Two; a revised version was adapted for
an episode of the TV series M*A*S*H]
The order in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
They treat us all like monkeys
An' make us stand in line.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The rules in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
The way the sergeants yell at us
Ought to be a crime.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The leadership in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
The way the officers prance around
They must think they're divine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The chaplains in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
They shout prayers an' hymns at us
An' then pass 'round the wine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The troops in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
But no matter how hard they work
They seem to always whine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The beds in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
But when you wake up in the morning
You've got wrinkles down yer spine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The tents in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
They're supposed to house five
But we always squeeze in nine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The coffee in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
It looks like muddy water
An' tastes like turpentine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The Kool-Aid in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
It's good on cuts and bruises
An' it tastes like iodine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The biscuits in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
One rolled off the table
An' squashed a pal of mine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The porridge in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
Whatever we can't eat
Is used to give the floors a shine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The chicken in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
The last one we were served
Flew off the chow line.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The holiday meals in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
The turkey served at Thanksgiving
Strutted 'round in march time.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The clothing in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
Me and two close buddies
Can all fit into mine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The laundry in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
Our underwear is washed in the toilet
Then hung out on the firing line.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The showers in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
Whenever we want to get cleaned up
They splutter us with slime.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The latrines in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
But when you sit on the toilet
You get splinters in yer behind.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The mules in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
They're just as ornery as corporals
An' they'll nev'r be a friend of mine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The marchin' in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
But all this walkin' has worn out my boots
An' now I'm in a bind.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The gear in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
It's made by some fly by night outfit
An' it ain't worth a dime.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The salary in the Army
They say is mighty fine,
They pay us forty dollars
An' take back thirty-nine.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The service clubs in the Army
They say are mighty fine,
While yer expectin' Betty Grable
Yer stuck with Frankenstein.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life;
Oh, I wanna go,
Oh, I gotta go,
Oh, but they won't let me go –
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
Gee Ma, I Wanna Go Home
unknown [revised version adapted for an episode of the TV series
M*A*S*H]
[Father Mulcahy:]
A chaplain in the Army
Has a collar on his neck,
If you don't listen to him
You'll all wind up in heck.
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
[Colonel Potter:]
Friendships in the Army
They say are mighty rare,
So I spend all my free time
Carousing with my mare.
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
[Radar O'Reilly:]
The corporals in the Army
You say we're really green,
But if it weren't for us guys
You'd be in the latrine.
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
[Margaret Houlihan:]
Oh some nurses in the Army
They haven't tied the knot,
But this one's gonna try it
With Donald Penobscott.
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
[Hawkeye & B.J.:]
Oh the surgeons in the Army
They say we're mighty bright,
We work on soldiers through the day
And nurses through the night.
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
[The Nurses:]
The surgeons in the Army
They're bright, they are profound,
But we'll take chopper pilots
They'll get you off the ground.
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
[Corporal Klinger:]
Oh some guys like the Army
I think that it's a mess,
If it's so damn terrific
How come I wear a dress?
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
[Frank Burns:]
Oh Hawkeye and ol' B.J.
They think they're pretty smart,
I'd like to take a scalpel
And stab them in the heart.
[All:]
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
But they won't let me go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
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