Jungle Bells
a Somewhat Irreverent Christmas Carol from Vietnam
[tune of "Jingle Bells"]
Dashing through the mud,
In a jeep that should be junk,
O'er the hills we go,
Half of us are drunk.
Wheels on dirt roads bounce,
Making asses sore,
Christ, I'd rather go to Hell
Than finish out this tour!
Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
No more Merry Christmas shit 'til this year has
passed.
Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
Take your Merry Christmas cheer and shove it up your
ass!
Jungle Bells
a Somewhat Irreverent Christmas Carol from Vietnam
[tune of "Jingle Bells"]
Driving down the road,
In a Jeep that should be junk,
Bouncing down the road,
Most of us are drunk.
Jeeps on dirt roads bounce,
Making asses sore,
Lord, I'd sooner go to Hell
Then finish out this tour!
Oh, jungle bells, mortar shells,
VC in the grass,
Take your twinkling Christmas tree
And shove it up your ass!
Oh, jungle bells, mortar shells,
VC in the grass,
Take your Christmas fruit cake
And shove it up your ass!
Driving down the road,
In a Jeep that should be junk,
Bouncing down the road,
Most of us are drunk.
Jeeps on dirt roads bounce,
Making asses sore,
Lord, I'd sooner go to Hell
Then finish out this tour!
Oh, jungle bells, mortar shells,
VC in the grass,
Take your pretty Christmas gifts
And shove them up your ass!
Oh, jungle bells, mortar shells,
VC in the grass,
Take your fancy Christmas cookies
And shove them up your ass!
Jungle Bells
a Somewhat Irreverent Christmas Carol from Vietnam
[tune of "Jingle Bells"]
Dashing through the mud, in a Jeep that should be junk,
O'er the roads we go, half of us are drunk,
Wheels on dirt roads bounce, making asses sore,
Lord, I'd rather go to Hell than finish out this tour!
Jungle bells, mortar shells, Charlie's in the grass,
We'll get no Merry Christmas cheer until this tour has
passed.
Jungle bells, mortar shells, Charlie's in the grass,
Take your Merry Christmas cheer and shove it up your ass!
Jungle Bells
a Somewhat Irreverent Christmas Carol from Vietnam
[tune of "Jingle Bells"]
Dashing through the mud,
In a track-driven armored sleigh,
Got a machine gun in my hands,
Blasting all the way!
Bouncing over mines,
Flattening native huts,
Oh what fun to watch the tracers,
As explosions make new ruts!
Ho, jungle bells, mortar shells,
Charlie's in the grass,
Christmas is just another day
Till this tour is passed.
Ho, jungle bells, mortar shells,
Charlie's in the grass,
Take your bamboo Christmas tree
And shove it up your ass!
Jungle Bells
a Somewhat Irreverent Christmas Carol from Vietnam
[tune of "Jingle Bells"]
Christmas time is here, as everybody knows,
People think it's dear, GI's think it blows.
All at home are gay while children are at play,
But we're stuck out here, so goddamn far away.
Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
We'll get no Merry Christmas cheer until this year has
passed.
Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
Take your Merry Christmas cheer and shove it up your ass!
The moral of this song, it's plain as it can be,
Please no midnight carols sing, and screw your Christmas
tree.
There's one thing left to say, before we have to leave,
Vietnam is damned well not the place to be on Christmas Eve!
Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
We'll get no Merry Christmas cheer until this year has
passed.
Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
Take your Merry Christmas cheer and shove it up your ass!
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